Welcome to part four of my series – “Why New Year’s Resolutions Rarely work.  If you missed part three, you can view it here. In this part of the series, we will be working on transforming your resolution into a series of winning steps to get you there.

Step 4 - Break down your resolution into objectives

So now you have your main resolution and the question is "how do you get there?"  One of the greatest challenges in realizing a resolution or any life change is creating a series of steps that not only build to the goal; they also create momentum to make it easier.  That is what we are going to do today by breaking your resolution in to series of performance-based objectives. 

Performance-based objectives (PBO) are actions where you have complete control over their occurance.  They are vital to goal fulfillment because each one is a guaranteed win that allows you to stack your successes.  This gives you the momentum to complete your goal and a way to check in with your progress.

Here are some examples:
Goal - Lose 10 pounds
PBO - Exercise for 30 minutes, three days a week

Goal - Get more clients
PBO - Go to two networking meetings each week and talk to at least 5 people at each one

Goal - Live a healthier lifestyle
PBO - Switch to at least 30% organic foods and drink water instead of soda

Notice in each case, you can tell for sure if the performance based objective has been met AND only your actions are needed to complete the objective.

Here are some questions you can ask when creating a Performance Based Objective.

1. Does this lead to my goal?
2. Is it clear, concise and understandable?
3. Is it stated in terms of results?
4. Does it contain an action verb?
5. Do I have everything I need for this objective now?
6. Is there a specific completion date?
7. Is the result measurable?
8. Is the objective reasonable given my current situation?

Keep your Performance Based Objective timelines as short as possible.  I recommend giving them a timeline of a week when you first get started.

Action - For this you will need the following

• You top resolution for the coming year from part 3
• Several pieces of paper and a pen or pencil
• 30 minutes of time 

Begin by taking a piece of paper and writing the twelve months down the left side of the page.  You will now take your resolution from part 3 and break it down into monthly goals.  For instance, if you are looking at losing 10 pounds, then set a goal for one pound a month.  If you are looking at earning extra money this year, then figure out how much per month.  Beside each month of the year, put your goal for that month. 

One common mistake is to simpy space your results out evenly each month.  That may not always be the best choice.  Suppose you are looking at increasing sales for your business.  The goal for the first month may be putting together your advertising, and then later months would be about increased sales.  Look at your situation and make a plan that is realistic for your life right now.  A smaller sure win is better than a possible long shot. 

Now that you have the goals for each month, look at the goal for the current month.  Take the goal and break it down into weekly objectives.  At this point, all of your weekly items should be performance-based objectives.  Make sure every action meets the questions above.  On a separate piece of paper, or a calendar if you keep one, write down each of these objectives with the date you will complete them.  Now post these objectives somewhere you will see them each day.

If the performance based objectives do not look reasonable within the next month then seriously look at reassessing your yearly plan or bringing in additional resources.  Success is only created through success.  So keep everything doable and feel free to adjust your plans as needed.  We will be discussing check in points and planning strategies in part 5 of this series.

If you are having difficulties figuring out how to turn your resolution into a stream of successes, you may find it helpful to have an outside perspective. I offer individual coaching and our upcoming workshop, the 2010 Visioning Crash Course, is a great way to find your focus for the upcoming year.  If there is any way that I can support you, please let me know.

Remember to stay grounded in your successes

After you are done with looking into your future, take a moment to ground yourself in your success.  Look at your gratitude sheets from part 1 for a few minutes until you feel grateful.  Then I invite you to invoke the Divine as you normally do and say the simple prayer "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

I will post the next step in a few days, which is how to establish check in points to keep you on course throughout the year.  Take some time now to allow the joy of your already incredible life to take root in your energy field.   That positive energy will propel you to realizing your dreams.

Have a Happy and Blessed New Year!

Rev Jason Borton

P.S. If you really want to supercharge your 2010, come to my 2010 Vision Crash Course. At the 2010 Vision Crash Course you will discover more about performance based objectives and how to powerfully use them in your life.  At the end of the day you will have a vision for 2010 and beyond AND the tools to get you there.  Visit 2010visioncrashcourse.eventbrite.com/ for more information.

Welcome to part three of my series – “Why New Year’s Resolutions Rarely work.  If you missed part two, you can view it on this blog. In this part of the series, we will be working on focusing your intentions for the coming year. 

Action – For this you will need the following:

Imagine you needed to dig a well for water.  You know that the water is in the earth and that the best water is deeper underground.  The fastest way to reach the water would be to dig a narrow hole.  Then you could easily line the hole to keep the water fresh.  If you needed to get more water, then you would dig another hole nearby.  The same is true with success.

I see many people attempting too many resolutions and life changes at the same time.  They they spend all of their energy digging a mile wide hole to reach their water!  All they end up with is a hole of disappointment.  The key is to focus your intention on the key areas.  The key to achieving many resolutions in one year is to do them sequentially.  Focus on one life change at a time until it becomes part of your routine.  Then add the next one, etc. 

In this part, you will examine your resolutions and pick which ones you will focus on for the upcoming year.  In this way you will quickly bring success into your life.  These successes will provide the energy to move you to even more successes.  Just as with the well, once you have the first, it is even easier to succeed with the second.

Have you ever noticed that successful people tend to be successful in almost everything they do?  The reason is that they have trained themselves in success.  You can train yourself as well, starting with your resolutions. 

Action – For this you will need the following:

• Your list of top 15 resolutions for the coming year from part 2
• Several pieces of paper and a pen or pencil
• 30 minutes of time
• Computer with Internet connection

To begin the process of choosing where to focus for the coming year, I would recommend creating an Abundance Mandala™ for yourself.  An Abundance Mandala™ gives you an instantaneous snapshot of your personal abundance and is a great tool to see which area to focus on to manifest more abundance in your life.  It is a free tool that you can use at: http://www.myabundancemindset.com/tools/mandala/mandala.aspx.

Now take your list of 15 resolutions from part 2 and pick the top three from the list. Use the information from your Abundance Mandala™ to help you choose.  Some questions to ask yourself while picking the top 3 resolutions are:

• Which resolutions help move me to abundance in my life?
• Which resolutions do I REALLY want to do?
• Which resolutions are the easiest to achieve?
• Which resolutions give back to others?
• Which resolutions will make the others easier to achieve?

 

Once you have your top 3 resolutions, order them from one to three. The top resolution is your first resolution for the year. This is your focus until it is achieved or you have put the processes in place to guarantee its success - these processes are the focus for part four of this series. Once you have succeeded in your first resolution, then move to the second resolution. 

You may feel very strongly that you need to work on all three resolutions at once. While I do not recommend this, if you cannot wait to start the other two, then divide your time among your top three resolutions with 60% of your energy on the first resolution, 30% on the second resolution and 10% on the final resolution. This way you are still digging deeply on your main resolution.

These resolutions are meant to be sign posts to guide you for the coming year, not hitching posts that you are stuck with. So make your best guess and realize you can change your mind at any time. We will be looking at check-in points in part 5 of this series. 

Once you have your resolution the new year, write it down in big, bold letters and post it somewhere you will see it every day.  A good place is your bathroom mirror . Take some time to make your resolution look good. This is your intention for the coming year, so make sure that everything about it is motivating and inspiring to you.

If you are having trouble picking a top resolution, then take some time to re-examine your larger list of resolutions and discover what would really motivate you for the coming year. Remember that you are looking to add more success to your life, so pick something that is really inspiring to you.  If you are still unsure, then go for the easiest to achieve. 

If you are in the middle of a major life change right now, this could be difficult. You may find it helpful to have an outside perspective. I offer individual coaching and our upcoming workshop, the 2010 Visioning Crash Course, is a great way to find your focus for the upcoming year.

Remember to stay grounded in your successes
After you are done with looking into your future, take a moment to ground yourself in your success.  Look at your gratitude sheets for a few minutes until you feel grateful.  Then I invite you to invoke the Divine as you normally do and say the simple prayer "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

I will post the next step in a few days, which is how to take your main resolution and convert it into a series of action steps that will make it a reality.  Take some time now to allow the joy of this incredible intention to take root in your energy field.   That positive energy will propel you to realizing your dreams.

Have a Happy and Blessed New Year!
Rev Jason Borton

P.S. If you really want to supercharge your 2010, come to my 2010 Vision Crash Course. The 2010 Vision Crash Course powerfully expands these concepts and ideas.  At the end of the day you will have a vision for 2010 and beyond AND the tools to get you there.  Visit 2010visioncrashcourse.eventbrite.com/ for more information.

Welcome to part two of my series – “Why New Year’s Resolutions Rarely work. If you missed part one, you can view it on this blog at: http://www.jasonborton.com/blog/post/2009/12/30/Why-New-Years-Resolutions-Rarely-Work-Part-1.aspx.

Step 2 - Ask for what you want

Many times resolutions are ill-formed intentions that actually block what we are looking for in our lives. Let’s take a simple example that many people consider: I want to lose 10 lbs this year. This is a terrible intention for several reasons.

• You are trying to lose something. We all have predisposition to avoid loss. Even if it is a good thing, you are setting up resistance when your subconscious thinks it is losing.
• Is the intention based upon the main motivation? It is correct to create a measurable result, and the result has to motivate you. Unless you are obsessed with a scale, a better intention could be: I will be a size 8 or I will fit into my skinny jeans in the following year.
• Resolutions and intentions have to be set in the present tense. The current resolution, I want to lose 10 lbs this year actually pushes away your goal. Instead you are focusing on the wanting, not the goal. This would be better written as: I will lose 10 lbs this year.
• Are your resolutions limiting your success? In the above example, what if you lost 15 lbs (assuming it was healthy and you liked the result)? So make sure that you set up your intentions to be what you want or something better. The first permutation would be: I want to lose 10 lbs this year or something better. 

Personally, I would reword this resolution to: "By the end of the year I will be my ideal weight."  

So when creating resolutions, make sure to follow these guidelines:

1. They are positive
2. They truly motivate you
3. They are in the present tense
4. They allow for the Divine to give you something greater

 

Action - For this you will need the following:

• 1 hour of time
• Several pieces of paper and a pen or pencil
• REALLY motivating music.

A balanced life takes into account the various areas of your life, so today you will be brainstorming resolutions in various areas of your life.  This is your master resolution list for the year, so dream big and dream a lot!  While brainstorming, do not worry about the guidelines above, just write them down as fast you can!

Crank up the music and take the pieces of paper. For at least 5-10 minutes write down on the first sheet every resolution you can think of for your family and relationships.  Do not worry about the resolution guidelines while brainstorming, we will use them shortly.  If you get stuck after a few minutes, keep going, you are moving from your conscious mind to your subconscious mind, where the great inspirations live! Shoot for at least 10 items.  When you have that list, take a deep breath and get out another piece of paper. 

Now move to the second item on the list below, personal growth.  Keep going until you have list for each of the areas listed below. 

• Family and relationships - how you want to increase your connection with others
• Personal growth - how you want to expand your mind and soul
• Professional Growth - this could be for you or for your business
• Fun - how do you want to play this year
• Other - any else that may not fit in the above categories

Now take those resolutions and for each area, pick the top three that move you the most.  Rewrite them using the guidelines above and put them all on a new piece of paper.  Keep these for part three.  

Remember to stay grounded in your successes

After you are done with looking into your future, take a moment to ground yourself in your success.  Look at your gratitude sheets from part one for a few minutes until you feel grateful.  Then I invite you to invoke the Divine as you normally do and say the simple prayer "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

I will post part three in a few days, which is how to break down these resolutions into a stream of successes that are possible in your life today.  Take some time now to allow the joy of these incredible possibilities take root in your energy field.   That positive energy will propel you to realizing your dreams!

Have a Happy and Blessed New Year!
Rev Jason Borton

P.S. If you really want to supercharge your 2010, come to my 2010 Vision Crash Course. In one day, you will discover your dream life, your intentions and how to manifest them in 2010. Visit 2010visioncrashcourse.eventbrite.com/ for more information. 

This is the time of year when we all look to the future and see the New Year before us.  For many, this is a time to set resolutions for the coming year.  The only challenge is that most times these resolutions are forgotten until the next December, where they become the source of untold stress. 

This is the year to do something different and manifest a dream year!  Over the next few days, I will describe five typical reasons why resolutions of any type often fail and provide a simple step by step set of instructions to help you make 2010 your best year yet.  At the end of this series, you will have everything you need to turn this year's resolutions into this year's successes.

Step 1 - Gratitude, not resolution, starts the manifestation process

Making a resolution is great step towards manifesting your dream life.  However, an intention without supporting structures and beliefs will rarely manifest in your life.  The strongest energetic support behind success is gratitude.  Therefore, the energy of gratitude is vital to manifesting a great year.  You can only reap the fruits in your life based upon what you sow.  By sowing gratitude at the beginning of the year, you are planting the seeds of more gratitude in the coming year. 

Here is a simple action that will set you up for an incredible new year. 

Action - For this you will need the following:

• 20 minutes of time
• Several pieces of paper and a pen or pencil
• REALLY motivating music

Sit down and take a deep breath.  Now take a moment and say the following out loud:

         2009 was a good year!
         I learned a lot that will help me in more ways than I can comprehend
         2009 was a good year!
         I did many great things
         2009 was a great year!
         I forgive myself for anything I feel the need to
         2009 was a great year!

Crank up the music and take the pieces of paper.  For at least 5-10 minutes write down on the first sheet everything you are grateful for in your life.  If you get stuck after a few minutes, keep going, you are moving from your conscious mind to your subconscious mind, where the great inspirations live!  When you have that list, take a deep breath and get out another piece of paper. 

Now brainstorm for at least 5-10 minutes on everything that you are grateful for in 2009.  This can be in your life or the world.  Think of all of the miracles that happened in 2009 and write them down.
When you are done, take those lists and look at them.  Then I invite you to invoke the Divine as you normally do and say the simple prayer "Thank you, thank you, thank you."

This energy of gratitude is vital to manifesting a great 2010.  Don't worry about creating resolutions yet.  You have plenty of time for that later.  From now until next week, make a conscious effort to stay in this place of gratitude, going back to your lists as often as possible.  You are planting the seeds for a wonderful year worth celebrating, so take the time to make sure your seeds are in fertile soil.

Celebrate your incredible year!
 
Remember to celebrate your incredible self!  Only making resolutions plants seeds of lack and wanting that will manifest in your life in the coming year.  Take the time now and celebrate all of the wonders in your life.  Then you can focus that energy forward, which will make the space and set the potential for miracles in the New Year. 

Next week, I will send you the next step, which is how to powerfully ask for what you want. In the meantime, make it a point to celebrate. You are magnificent!

Have a Happy and Blessed New Year!
Rev Jason Borton

P.S. If you really want to supercharge your 2010, come to my 2010 Vision Crash Course. In one day, you will discover your dream life, your intentions and how to manifest them in 2010. Visit 2010visioncrashcourse.eventbrite.com/ for more information.

I just had a coaching call where this poem by Marianne Williamson came to mind.  It is so powerful, that I wanted to share it with everyone.

Our Deepest Fear 

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear
is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually who are we not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine as children do.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And when we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson

As a note - Nelson Mandela did quote this poem in his inaugural speach, however it was written by Williamson and appears in her book: A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles"

A recent challenge of mine has been to clean Ben's baseball bean bag chair.  It was the victim of an unfortunate accident involving one of our pets.    So here I am faced with a challenge of deep cleaning something that is rather large and really thick.  I first tried to get it into my washing machine.  Even though I knew it could not fit, I spent the requisite five minutes pushing the metaphorical ten pounds of material into a five pound bag.  It did not fit.

Then I spot cleaned the surface, but it still smelled.  So I did some brain storming and came up with the following: go to a dry cleaners, cut open the bag and replace the beads, buy a new one...  After a few mintues, I decided to simply wait for a bit and think about it.  Finally the answer came to me.  The bathtub.  I had a perfectly large enough container for the bean bag, water and detergent.  Also, the bathtub is already plumbed, waterproof and I can rinse it with the shower!  Well, it worked and the bean bag chair is out in the sun right now drying out. 

This interchange really highlights the problem solving process that many people go through.  First, they try to ram it through what they know.  This is just like me trying to push it into the washing machine.  If that does not work, then they simply clean the surface and hope the deeper issue is solved as well.  However the deeper issue comes through, usually quite smelly.  Then comes a flurry of actions, some physical and some mental: give the problem to someone else to solve (or pass the buck), cut it apart and look to put the pieces together again, throw it away and get a new one...

Hopefully after that initial fury of thoughts, one takes a moment in the quiet to let their higher self work through the challenge.  As Kathy Kolbe says: "When nothing works, do nothing."  This means giving yourself the chance to work through the problem and move from reactive thinking to creative thinking. 

In this case, I found that I could use the bath tub.  The thoughts and materials we need to solve any challenge are always there, we simply need to be open to them.  Finally, we should always look at how we can work with Mother Nature to solve our challenges.  In this case, I used the sun to dry the chair instead of forcing it into the dryer.  So the next time you are faced with a challenge, pause and take a moment to find the creative solution.  You already have everything you need, if you are thinking and looking correctly.

Of course the best part of the story was right after I washed the chair and it was draining in the bathtub, Ben goes to the bathroom.  A few minutes later I hear a thud followed by some strange sound.  Ben had found the soaking wet bean bag chair and had managed to get it out of the tub and was dragging it into the living room to sit on it.  Soaking wet, the bean bag chair weighed more than he did!  This clearly demonstrates that a clear intention and determination can overcome any obstacle and most laws of physics!

This morning I was treated to my son running into my room yelling “Daddy, Daddy, Breakfast!” He orchestrated (with the help of my wife) breakfast for all of us. The interesting thing is that the eggs were green! Now this is not some new diet plan or anything, Ben just really loves to add food coloring when he cooks. I will say it is amazing how many hues Ben can produce in the kitchen.

Ben does not normally eat many eggs, but he was inhaling the eggs this morning. He topped off breakfast with a fresh smoothie containing strawberries, bananas and a little chocolate sauce (his idea). Finally, he raced my wife to the car to get to school. Healthy breakfast and willingness to school, he can eat green all of the time!

For Ben, the green food coloring gave no difference in flavor, and there was a definite difference in experience. This is the key point for today. In hypnosis and NLP, we use a technique called reframing. The concept is to change the context of an experience to something positive. The facts are never changed, instead the emotions are separated from the facts of the event to allow the memory to be reprocessed in a healthy manner.

Now Ben did just that with his present experience. Think about it, he made a small change that had a huge impact on the meal. The eggs still tasted the same and yet they took on a whole new quality. As adults, we have the capability to do that within our mind. So as we approach situations that in the past may have been frustrating, lower energy events, we can choose to color them or reframe them to something different. The events will be what they are. We have the power to color them as we wish.

Of course if all else fails, help the reframing by adding some food coloring or chocolate sauce. Either way, you are moving from passive compliance to active involvement in your life. So look for your chance for green eggs and have a great day!

In case you don't know, I have a salt water fish tank.  I've had once since fifth grade and I am really excited that Ben has taken a great interest in it.  So earlier this week, I bought some new hermit crabs to help keep the bottom clean. Ben loves helping out, so he was quickly there with his hands washed, on the stool, ready to help.  After we let the crabs acclimate to the new water conditions, we added them in.  I even put them in a small container so he could pick them out and put them where he wanted to in the tank.  It was a great experience.

When we were done, Ben wanted to get more for the tank.  I had to explain to him that we had to wait for the tank to get used to the new crabs before we added more.  Otherwise, everything could get sick.  That was not the easiest concept to relate to a 4 year old! 

The conversation got me thinking about life in general.  A lot of personal development is about changing now and getting results fast.  It is important to remember that the main message is to overcome being stuck.  It is not about moving faster than you are able or are comfortable with moving.  In fact, most times moving too fast backfires.

Our lives are just like a fish tank.  The proper tank can contain almost anything.  Yet when adding something new, it has to be intentional with a respect and careful eye on what is already there and its current conditions.  Adding something new to our lives is a process.  Just like allowing the fish to get used to the new water conditions, we need to allow ourselves the time and energy to integrate the new behaviors, beliefs, conditions into our lives.

So the next time you are adding something new to your life, which I sincerely hope is often, make sure you are comfortable with the pace.  It is okay to feel uncomfortable, particularly with new changes.  The key is to ask you inner voice who is determining the pace: Spirit, someone else's ideas or your inner 4 year old.  If it is not Spirit, I would suggest taking some quiet time to find the best pace.  Those few minutes could save you days, weeks or even years of grief.

I finally added two new tools to www.myabundancemindset.com.  They are the Abundance Pyramid and the Abundance Temple.  These tools are great visualizations of core abundance concepts and each one has a beautiful print out version as well.  Please check them out and let me know what you think.

Carolyn and I were eating on the patio at one of my favorite restaurants, Tijuana Flats (yes I have a thing for Mexican food).  As we were enjoying our food, an older woman walks by with a lit cigar right at our eye level and then sits a few tables down from us.  I admit, I have a thing against smoking.  I really do not like the smoke and I can get easily irritated by having to smell someone else's addiction. 

At first I was upset and I came close to suggesting we move inside. However, I took a moment and worked on seeing the Divinity within the woman.  I focused on that for a few moments and then went on eating.  I was chatting with Carolyn and then looked up to find the woman in front of our table.  She began a conversation with us as this was her first time eating at the restaurant.  We talked with her and could give her several pointers on the menu (I pretty much have it committed to memory).  The whole time that lit cigar was waving around the table!  I chose to ignore it and instead concentrate on the dynamic person in front of me. 

She thanked us and went inside.  She came back a few minutes later with her food in a to-go bag and spontaneouosly told us about how she was working on quitting smoking cigarettes by instead smoking cigars.  She was proud that she was cutting down and was working to quit completely.  In fact, the cigar was mostly for the habit of holding something in her hand.  During the conversation, I had the chance to look her in the eyes and tell her for such a strong woman, you can definitely overcome this smoking challenge.  She thanked us again for our help and actually took a moment to bless us for being so helpful and kind. 

By first looking at her Divinity, a win-win situation was manifested.  She received good feelings and good food and we received the opportunity to help, with both the food and the smoking, and a blessing.  This entire interchange began without words, but with the intention of seeing the best in someone.  I am not sure if our conversation was her tipping point to quit smoking, and I know it helped.  I also know that the situation was transformed for me from one of grumbling about smoke to one of helping someone. 

So in that spirit - I see YOU, the Divine YOU today.  Have a blessed day.